Are You Searching For A Post Modern, Feminist, Queer or LGBTQ+ Therapist ?

  • Whether you’ve spent most of your life identifying as straight or LGBTQ+, does it suddenly seem that who you are—and who you love—is changing?
  • Has your partner recently come out as LGBTQ+ or non-monogamous, sparking new questions about the future of your relationship?
  • Does it seem that the gender you were assigned at birth doesn’t fit who you really are—or even that no “one” gender can?
  • Are you interested in exploring consensual non-monogamy or looking for help navigating alternative relationship dynamics?
  • Do you want to discover a more authentic self, but fear the consequences of exploring those choices, from facing judgment tp fracturing your relationships?
  • Are you searching for help to deal with feelings of shame and worthlessness, so you can learn to be an authentic, honest, vibrantly loving self?

Exploring your sexual orientation, gender identity and relationship structures can feel not only exciting and liberating, but also deeply isolating and confusing. If you are having feelings and experiences that you never expected, you might feel lost in a world turned upside down.

More than anything, you might wonder where you belong, and what path to take to get there.

In Our Heteronormative Culture, It Can Make Feel Impossible To Be Yourself

Many people are growing more and more aware of vast variations in sexual orientation, gender identity and relationship structure. However, most people are still grapple with heteronormative expectations: that our gender identity is determined at birth, that we will fulfill traditional gender roles, that we will enter a lifelong heterosexual marriage, etc., etc.

Whether we hear them from our parents or absorb them from the cultural messages around us, all of these expectations limit our sense of who we’re “allowed” to—and be with.

Like countless others, you may have pushed down questions in the past because you were afraid of judgment or rejection. But now, you feel torn in 1000 directions, and you know that something has to change.

On the other hand, perhaps life has thrown you a curveball. For example, you love your husband—but you can’t stop fantasizing about another woman. Or, you’ve always identified as a lesbian—and you’ve fallen in love with a man. Or, maybe your partner has come out as genderqueer, and you wonder if your identity is shifting, too.

These are just a few examples of truth our culture rarely tells us: People can—and do!—change.

Sometimes, internalized oppression and stigma make these changes painful and challenging. You might also worry that expressing who you are will mean betraying your loved ones or your community. But, you might also know that holding back will mean betraying yourself.

Change can be beautiful and freeing. And, no matter what lies ahead, you don’t have to find your path on your own. With guidance and support, you can create a life that honors everything that makes you, you.

With LGBTQ+ Counseling, You Can Celebrate Who You Are Right Now

I welcome clients of every background, orientation, identity and relationship structure.

My job is never to judge, but to witness and listen as you share your story.

It’s very possible that your story feels confusing and blurry to you at this moment—maybe that’s why you’re on this page! That’s more than okay. Confusion can be a fertile ground for profound self-discovery.

Mindfulness practices are at the core of my work. That means I will help you become fully present in your mind, body and emotions, without self-criticism or self-judgment. I will ask gentle questions, helping you lean into those blurry places.

Your answers are always your own. I will simply help you find the quiet you need to hear them.

Live And Love As Your True Self

In my own life, I have been attracted to people all across the orientation and gender spectrums, and my gender expression often challenges the binary’s norms. My personal experience has shown me that much of the pain of change comes from harsh self-judgment and resistance.

As a queer and trans friendly therapist, I offer a non-judgmental presence and teach practices that can help you:

  • Let go of ideas of who you “should” be and begin to understand your real beliefs, feelings and wants.
  • Gain awareness of what it would mean to shed the layers of who you’ve been in the past and step into who you are today.
  • Feel seen, heard and validated.
  • Learn how to identify and advocate for your needs.
  • If appropriate, explore who you are or might be at your own pace and in your own way.
  • Learn mindful self-compassion so you can be kind to yourself on the emotional, psychological and spiritual level.
  • Learn to accept those things about yourself you feared were unacceptable.

Build Accepting, Connected Relationships

Whether you or your partner is questioning who and how you love, you might not know where to turn for nonjudgmental guidance.

With the help of my wife, Lynda, I offer support to help you:

  • Clarify and express your feelings, wants and needs.
  • Identify your true relationship values and expectations.
  • Be honest about what you can and cannot tolerate.
  • Understand that the confusion and hurt you feel is not only okay, but also expected.
  • Explore what the future of your relationship might look like, without judgment.
  • Talk through common challenges in LGBTQ+ and/or CNM relationships, including discrimination and jealousy.
  • Foster open, honest and kind communication with your partner.

I also offer counseling to those who have been out together for as long as they’ve been together. Sexual orientation, gender identity and relationships structures can take many forms, and so counseling must also come in various shapes and sizes. And, if I don’t think I can meet your needs, I can offer you an individualized referral.

No matter your specific situation, I am here to help you believe that you are deserving of love. You are deserving of a fulfilling life.

You may have questions or concerns about therapy for LGBTQ+ health and wellbeing…

I’m don’t identify as LGBTQ+, but my partner or child does. Can I still come see you?

Yes!

As a therapist in a mixed orientation marriage (in my words, I’m queer, she’s not), I have unique insight into some of the challenges you might be facing. So, with the help of my wife, Lynda, I offer mixed orientation marriage counseling and couples counseling. We can help model how to work through conflict, providing tools to support you as you understand and accept your differences.

Lynda also has experience in providing support for parents of transgender youth, as well as for the children themselves. Specifically, she has worked with children going through the process of transition or questioning their gender identity.

If you are concerned about how to support your child at home, at school and for their overall future, we can help. This includes marshalling all the many resources available, including dedicated gender dysphoria therapists and other parents who have been through this territory.

Can I trust that what I share during LGBTQ+ counseling with be confidential?

Yes!

(With some narrow exceptions, about harming yourself or others. Like every other mandated reporter, I am required by law to report certain non-consensual acts or behaviors.)   

My dog Teddy is my model of confidentiality—he doesn’t repeat much of what he’s told.

Will you judge me or push me to adopt your beliefs?

No!

I am a radical faerie practicing queer, feminist therapy because I’ve had the chance to explore who I am. In that spirit, I am here to help you discover your own truth. Some question just can’t be answered easily. I can offer insight and perspective on your process. My goal is to help you be open-minded about your own experience, help you clarify your hopes and goals and distill the steps you want to take in that direction.

Mindful Self-Compassion practices can offer you tools to access your own deepest wisdom and make some well-considered choices. Then, you can move forward into the life you want.

You Deserve Support And Clarity

If you are interested in learning more about my perspective, I invite you to email me at info@mtsutra.com to schedule a free, 10–15-minute phone consultation. You can ask any questions you have about queer and nonbinary support and therapy. A new set of eyes and ears about what is going with you, he, she, they, zee, us and thee is often helpful.